"Listen, I have seen that you did not study for this statistics test, you didn't even open the exam. If you are just flipping a coin for your answer, what is taking you so long?"

The student replies bitterly, as he is still flipping the coin: "Shhh! I am checking my answers!"

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A statistician's wife had twins. He was delighted. He rang the minister who was also delighted.

"Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister.

"No," replied the statistician. "Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control.

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Top ten reasons to be a statistician

Estimating parameters is easier than dealing with real life.

Statisticians are significant

I always wanted to learn the entire Greek alphabet.

The probability a statistician major will get a job is > .9999.

If I flunk out I can always transfer to Engineering.

We do it with confidence, frequency, and variability.

You never have to be right - only close.

We're normal and everyone else is skewed.

The regression line looks better than the unemployment line.

No one knows what we do so we are always right.